I've always made it a point that with whatever I do in my life - stupid or something slighly close to that, I will learn something from it. Something to help me by and make me wiser about anything, especially at this age. Being 17 has never been was never a joy to begin with as I'd hope it would be. It's like.. being 18 but... not.. really. Anyway. In all my 17 years, one thing that was always sure to make me learn were people's "last looks". It was only nowadays when I realized this. All the while I had thought that the wise words some older people have told me or the silly sayings I've read in countless tabletops were the ones that actually made me think but truth was.. It was those last looks I saw that made me learn a thing or two, especially about people.

I don't know how but when people give me a look, I tend to make an assumption about how they really are and most of the time, I was right. I'm pretty sure that most people are judgemental.. It's in our nature and I'll be the first to admit that, although the type of judgemental person I am is one whose judgements I keep to myself (which is kinda the same thing, I guess).

Thinking back, if I had to count the last looks that people gave me, "annoyed ones" would top the list. Haha. I assume you think me annoying, but I'm really not. I guess in a way, I've disappointed countless number of people in the past and an annoyed face is something close to making me see that. I remember back when I was in Grade 5, I was asking my physical education teacher to show me my grade. I was trying to be cute because he wasn't planning on showing it to me, and I thought that he would have liked the cute-ness it but then he looked down, looked me in the eye and gave me an annoyed look I will NEVER forget. It's one of those looks that you never let a kid see because she'd never forget it. It was the first time anybody ever gave me that face and, let's just say that I'll never ever forget that, even if I tried. Too think I thought I was cute. Sigh.

One look I could never forget was when a boy sang to me.. And what was funny was that he didn't even love me and yet I still felt so loved. That look made me all gooey and girly. It's one of those looks that girls want to see at least once in their life and I'm pretty lucky to have seen that. Now if only my crush looked at me that way. Oh sigh.

There are countless others I've seen people give me. Parents being proud, lover being shy around me, friends laughing at something stupid I did (and constantly do), crying lady at church, strangers offering kind smiles, a policeman who was so concerned during the accident, annoyed kid beaten at Taekwundo match, hundreds of looks that if given the chance - as painful or as nice it would be, I'd give anything to see again.

I want to be that girlfriend that's going to shake her head at you when you scream so loud after your favorite player shoots a basket. I know you're excited, and I probably scream just as loud when I see my celebrity crush, but to see you getting so excited over something like that, I think it's cute.

I want to be that girlfriend that's going to sit next to you in a concert, occassionally pinching your beer belly (that I, in all my power, will help remove during the time we are together), telling you to quit dozing off and listen to the magic that is Jason Mraz <3

I want to be that girlfriend that stays at home while you go party with your friends. You'd tell me that I shouldn't go since it's a boy's night out, but you'll call me in the middle of the night anyway, just to tell me that you love me. I want you to be that boyfriend.

I want to be that girlfriend who's all tough and confident whenever I'm with you, but cower in a corner when I finally have to meet your parents. We will get to that stage and when we do, I want you to stay in another room. I need to make them love me without you helping me out. Stay in a room, go cook dinner, do anything. Just don't watch me try to win your family's hearts with my charm. Let me (try to) make them lulz by myself.

I want to be that girlfriend who's going to tell you to stop smoking.. But then again, why would you be my boyfriend if you were smoking in the first place? You must be really hot or I'm just really in this for your money. I love you(?). PS. This is a joke.

I want to be that girlfriend that you'd be proud of, even if your friends tease you about being whipped. What's wrong with being in love?

I want to be that girlfriend that will make you want to believe in love again. That will give you butterflies and make you feel like a little school girl. I want to change your bitter thoughts about love, that is, if you even have any thoughts regarding that matter, and make you realize that, there are still people in this world worth fighting for. Stop being such a boy!

Aaaah! So many things to be.
So little time. I hope you're gonna like that.

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Got this idea from DarkMocca. I think it's fun, since I was planning to write something related to it anyway. And since a lot of people I know read this, I'll.. Play with some names. Haha.

KT
First crush
We rode the same bus going to school
He had the nicest eyes, always smiling too

KA
Hehe. This was around the time where I realized I was growing up
He was really cool. Nothing really happened though
It was more of a crush thing than anything. He was just really cool

KA # 2
Everybody had a crush on him
Me and my bestfriend both liked him. Haha.

M
First unofficial boyfriend
I don't want to make excuses, but it sorta happened without me knowing anything
Peer pressure

A
First love
All the girls loved him. So did some guys too.. Haha
Dancer, basketball player, hella chill!
It.. ended on a sour note
All the girls hated me cos he liked me and I liked him,
so being the naive highschool girl that I am,
when they asked "Do you love him?! Do you like him!?"
I'd always say no, even if I really did like him

...
We met at prom. Started out as friends
Then it was pretty obvious there was something more to that
Long distance. Couldn't work
I really liked him. But I realized it would never have worked out now

K
This was.. real :)
I can't even start how I actually feel for this guy
We broke up, but recently, started talking again
I've always thought of how it would be if we started going out again.